The Problem with Gyms

Dear Prospective/Current member,

It has come to the attention of gym management lately that several members (both new and old) have been exhibiting inappropriate behavior.  In order to curb said behavior we have decided to send out a behavior quiz to better help educate our current and prospective members about proper gym etiquette.  Please take your time in filling out the form and ask any of our helpful employees if you have any questions.

Question 1
During your lifting routine you see who you assume to be a new gym member wandering around the weight room looking confused.
Do you:

A: Politely introduce yourself and ask the member if they like any help with weight or machines.  Or if they’d like to be introduced to any of the trainers who can help.
B: Strut over like a roided up gorilla and state "Bro, why are you even here?"
C: Ignore them.  They have to figure it out for themselves you can’t be coddling kids these days.
D: Walk over and ask if they want some help and winking tell them you can help them with their form while you subtly grope them.
E: Pull the fire alarm.

Question 2
You see what appears to be young man harassing a woman on the treadmill.  Do you:

A: Go to the nearest gym employee and explain the situation.
B: Sucker punch the man and ask for the woman’s number.
C: Ignore them.  She shouldn’t have worn comfortable form fitting work out clothes.  She as asking for it.
D: Walk over and ask if they want some help.  Then ogle her and call her a bitch if she rejects your help.
E: Distract the man by having a full blown meltdown on the phone allowing the woman to escape.

Question 3
You walk up to the row of treadmills.  The television in front of the machine you normally use is a channel you dislike.  Do you:

A: Look for another machine or calmly ask a gym employee to help change the channel.
B: Freak out they aren’t showing SportsCenter and throw you feces at the screen.
C: Freak out over the liberal media bias and throw you feces at the screen.
D: Instead choose the best treadmill in the second row so you ogle to other runners.
E: Immediately evacuate yourself and scream "don’t look at me" as you flee to the changing room leaving unpleasant messes at every step.

Question 4
Another member has started using a machine during your set break in your routine even though your towel, water bottle, and body position clearly state you weren’t done.  Do you:

A: Calmly wait for the person to be finished.  It’s likely a honest mistake and they weren’t paying attention.
B: Immediately snatch the weight out of their hands and beat your chest.  Loudly yell, "What the fuck Bro!" Without explaining the problem.
C: Loudly and passively aggressively complain about millennials ruing society and how no one has any manners today.  Stand with you hands on your hips while grimacing.
D: Sit behind them really close and explain that you weren’t done but that the two of you can machine if they’d like.  Subtly grope them.
E: Accidentally spill your green smoothie all over them.

Question 5
In the locker room there is a person who is openly nervous about changing and is looking around the room.  Do you:

A: Give them space and try to focus on changing and leave.
B: Take off all your clothes and strut over and ask if they’re feeling alright.  Ask them about the latest sports event to put them at ease.
C: Ignore them completely and walk around the changing room naked and fart loudly.
D: Compliment their clothing and sit nearby to make them feel at ease.  Subtly grope them.
E: Change as fast as possible to give them space and run out of the changing room at mock speed.  If possible do the Naruto run.

Question 6
A person asks you for a spot.  Do you:

A: Walk over and help them.  Encourage them as they lift and tell them they did a great job.
B: Strut over while shouting "Of course Bro!"  Criticize their form the whole time and tell them what you’d do better while flexing aggressively.
C: Scold them for asking and tell them they should either just lift it on their own and not bother people or go home.  Kids today are too disrespectful.
D: As you spot them lowly maneuver you groin closer and closer to them.
E:  Pretend you didn’t hear them and hide behind the weight rack.

Question 7
A young child is running through the room.  Do you:

A: Go find an employee and ask them for help.
B: Give the child a caffeinated protein shake and call him little man.
C: Intentionally trip the child and ignore the crying.  Smirk to yourself.
D:  Ignore the child and continuing staring at the other gym members as they work out.
E: Sparta kick the child.  Realize what you’ve done and hide behind the weight rack.


Question 8
You notice a member openly staring at other members.  They are positioning themselves so they can watch people work out and stare lewdly.  Do you:

A: Find the nearest employee and explain the situation.
B: Strut over them and tell them loudly to stop.  Make sure to smile at the person they were staring at.  Do an aggressive head nod at them and walk away.
C: Ignore them and yell at the news program.
D:  Walk over to the person and ask who they think is the hottest person there.
E: Try to make conversation with other members about your Star Wars theories.

Question 9
You see another member leave their water bottle behind by accident:  Do you:

A: Try to politely grab their attention as they pass and point out their water bottle.
B:  Yell, "Yo, you left you fucking bottle Bro!"  Throw it at them like a football as hard as you can.
C: Mutter to yourself and say it serves them right.  Fart loudly mid set.
D:  Run over and grab the water bottle.  Get their attention and say they left something behind.  Hold the water bottle provocatively in front of your groin.
E:  Immediately claim it as your own and squirrel it away with the rest of your ill-gotten collection.

Question 10
You see a member leave their machine in a puddle of sweat and not return to towel it off.  Do you:

A: Spray the machine down and wipe it off.  Remember this for next time so you can politely and non-threateningly pull them aside and tell them they should wipe down the equipment after using it.
B: Wipe down the equipment with your towel and then throw it in the person's face while calling them a sweaty jackass.
C: It’s the gym employee’s job to clean things up.  You as the members pay them.  It’s not anyone’s job to clean up but the gym employees.
D: Immediately use the machine and inhale their scent deeply.
E: Ignore them and continue eating your large pepperoni pizza and buffalo wings.


Question 11
Another gym member is attenpting to make small talk with you.  Do you:

A: Politely engage with them to make them feel comfortable and a part of the community.
B: Flex aggressively.  Talk over them and change the subject.
C: Sneer and leave.
D: Stand as close as possible to them.  Subtly grope them.
E: Show them your impersonation of a velociraptor and run around the weight room screeching.


Question 12
You are lifting weights in front of the mirror.  Do you:

A: Use the mirror to help make sure you form is correct for both eccentric and concentric movements.
B: Flex aggressively and kiss your biceps.
C: As you arrive grab all the different weights you need for each exercises you may or may not do while taking up as much room as possible.  Leave your space in total disarray as it’s not your job to rack them after you are done.
D:  Lift half-heartedly as you use the mirror to stealthily look at other gym members.
E: Practice making different faces for your improv comedy troupe.  Don’t explain yourself as it’s a social experiment.

Question 13
You notice a large influx of gym members due to New Year’s resolutions and the gym is much more crowded than usual.  It is also filled with a lot of new and inexperienced members.  Do you:

A: Hope that many of the new members stay and continue on to have a positive physical improvement journey.
B: Complain loudly about all the idiots who don’t know how to lift properly and lament that the wight room is crowded with a bunch of newbies.
C: Turn up the volume on the new channel as high possible to drown out the noise.
D: Offer to help any of the new people with exercises or to show them around.  Grope them subtly.
E: Only show up at off hours to avoid having human interaction.  Complain on the internet about the gym sucking now.


We’d like to thank you for taking time out of your day to complete this educational quiz.  We ask that after you finish to please hand it in to the nearest gym employee for review.

My New Venture

My years of blogging are about to come to end.  But don’t fret honored friends and onlookers.  I’ll still be here to lead and console you in my new role.  I’ll be starting my new lifestyle website Sploosh! with my longtime friend, bon vivant, guru, personal trainer, and spiritual advisor Bodhi Schwartzman.  Bodhi has been helping me with my diet and lifestyle choices for years and he’s finally pushed me into letting him to ride my coattails agreed to help me with this new venture.

Before I tell you some of the hush-hush secret things I’m working on and the great products we’ll be offering I felt it incumbent upon me to explain why I’m undertaking this responsibility of telling other adults how to live and why they’re wrong in what they’re doing now.  It came upon me as I was sweating majestically in the mystic lodge high in the mountains of Argentina (while Peru has more mountains their spiritual energy simply doesn’t have the gravitas and “life definingness” of Argentina) and a small child was fanning me and another was spooning my whipped lemon ricotta soy cleanse into my mouth.  I came out of my pose, chakras tingling, and informed my yogi that I could see my path laid out in front of me, shimmering and bright.  He mumbled unintelligently and smiled toothily at me.  I left the lodge, carried by more children from the local village dressed in splendid white.  They had the gall to look me directly in my eyes but I ignored the insult as I glowed in the moment of true understanding and oneness.  After my one o’clock coffee ground wrap and three o’clock yogurt massage and my four o’clock purge I had one of the village children take dictation.  Thinking back now it is entirely possible there were only two children at the resort but I had forgotten their names and it became uncomfortable to think about so I simply gestured for my needs.  As I relaxed in the recently built infinity pool I felt the nervous energy vibrate through me.  I would help so many people.  For some reason, and I don’t quite know why, people can’t scrounge up the measly twenty thousand for the spiritual retreat.  Honestly, it’s such a paltry sum when it can influence your oneness.  Obviously there is nothing more important than your oneness.  I pulled away my ruby encrusted smart phone and called my wife.

The next week I purchased the domain and began cultivating the items to sell to my loyal audience.  Here are some of the products we’ll be offering.

Current launch product line:
Miracle tea enema to draw out toxins – $35.99
This tea packet of carefully chosen green tea buds expertly picked in Cambodia is designed to draw out dangerous toxins through your colon.  Purchase includes two silk tea bags, a decorative pouch, and a silk glove to keep your fingers clean for placement.

Probiotic miracle powder – $42.25
Our gut bacteria is a rich and diverse battleground waging war everyday.  Enter this fray like a proud Valkyrie warrior and assault your stomach with “proven” bacteria to show your body who’s boss.  Available in greenberry, vanilla, and vegan chocolate flavors to mix with your favorite smoothie.

Dick cream – $52.75
There’s face cream, body lotion, and fur oil.  Now there is my miraculous dick cream to make sure your Johnson is lovingly smooth and maintained.  Each five ounce jar is comprised of 10 percent ambergris and other natural ingredients guaranteed to make you stand up in appreciation.

Asshole bleaching wand – $47.99
Showing any bodily flaws is generally frowned upon even in this atmosphere of body positivity so why not feel bad about even more parts of your anatomy?  This wand will help you self-rectify any unsightly blemish to your posterior to enhance your outer beauty.  Especially helpful to cover pesky tea stains.

Photoshop (for editing your selfies) – $120 for a yearly subscription
Sick of constantly reshooting selfies for better light, or finding that perfect angle that ignores your imperfections?  Ignore embracing your flaws and instead embrace technological superiority.

Sloggoth spiritual cane to ward off the dark terror Tero’ogh’tttoa the unknowable – $4,299.99
Ornate carved wood from the bark of Yggdrasil.  Ivory handle and gold inlay for style points.  Blessed by local shaman under the guidance of Ormazd.  Mahogany case sold separately.

Ginger candies – $24.99
Candied ginger, iIt’s great for the digestive system.  Just the right amount of crunch and loved by nana’s everywhere.

Tibetan cloud ascending raiment - $745.99
Knitted by hand from elderly monks these one of a kind cloaks slowly unravel over time to remind us of our impermanence.  Average life expectancy is around two weeks.  Sizes available: extra double small to medium.

Glacial cubes – $ 75.99
Water from the purest mountain springs carried down to special collection pools by antique wooden buckets.   Frozen into irregular spheres and hand packed into single wrappers.  Guaranteed to impress even the most erudite cocktail guests.

Vagina glitter – $ 24.99
Purple, pink, and rose colored dainty confetti specially crafted for your nether regions.  Recommended to be removed before coitus unless that’s your kink.

While waiting for my website to finish you can shop at my inferior competitor here: http://goop.com/

First twenty five orders come with a free set of stickers that help align your energy to remove impure thoughts.

Ben

What the hell is a thought leader or why LinkedIn is bullshit

For some reason I can’t stop reading articles on LinkedIn pulse.  I know that most of these articles have no practical advice for me, for varying reasons, and yet I still keep reading them.  When I do find something it simply ratifies something I already knew.  I have yet to find anything new or useful.  I’m sure it’s out there but for now, at least for me, LinkedIn is inundated with utter garbage, self-promotion, and shockingly unaware narcissism.  It is certainly a worthwhile platform that I think has a lot of potential and merit (I’ll get into that later) but it’s wasted by people who really would rather stroke their own egos than actually help anyone.

Curious about my useless addiction and whether most articles were in fact useless I started skimming them one day to see which ones really made my inner voice call bullshit.  Here are some of the articles in no particular order.

Take a walk
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140619060956-3376027-take-a-walk?trk=mp-details-rc

"A successful business is marked with one [characteristic] – happy employees. So all you need to do to have a successful business, is to keep your employees happy."

I couldn’t even make it past the opening lines.  Forget the spelling error in the first sentence (hence my use of brackets and spelling it correctly, you’re welcome), or the useless comma in the second sentence, this opening make me want shake the writer.  A successful business is one that makes money.  A good business is one that does this and keeps employees happy.  A great business does that and helps the world as well.  While employee happiness is noble and I think business leaders have a moral obligation to create said happiness it is not the main metric for a successful business.

Smarter Than the Boss?
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140618131354-168885727-smarter-than-the-boss

"The demonstration of superior intellect, skill, (and I would include beauty) is, as a rule, a very rash thing to do in most company environments. We can say that mediocrity is always safe ground. Nothing in this world excites envy such as discernment, intellect and real talent."

Again this is bullshit.  What gets you in trouble is embarrassing people, making more work for others, disagreeing, and other maladies.  A manager might want to keep you down if you are star but just doing enough is stupid.  It makes you miserable.  You become toxic.  Toxic people fuck up the environment and culture.  If you aren't performing (mediocre, right?) and not enough people like you, you are gone.  And who says being smart means you are better suited for the bosses position.  The oversimplification here is staggering and annoying.  Also its predicated on a boss sabotaging a smart employee.  Plenty of bosses love smart employees because they make you look good.  Maybe the boss is sabotaging you because you are annoying and you act like you are better than you are.  A dash of humility isn’t a bad thing.

If I Were 22: Advice From a 25 Year Old, Relationships Matter
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140529174336-45714856-if-i-were-22-advice-from-a-25-year-old-relationships-matter?trk=mp-details-rr-rmpost

I'm not even pulling any quotes.  Even the author calls out the bullshit.  You can't give advice if you have no experience.  The article is mostly a poorly veiled this is about me not about the subject train wreck.  This is an abuse of the forum simply to get a name out there, to have published.  Also if anyone is really foolish enough to take advice from a twenty five year old on a business network might want to think twice about their judgment.

Potential - Why It's Over-Hyped
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140617171513-6114632-potential-why-it-s-over-hyped

This article talks about studies without even providing a link.  It’s a Fox News mentality of suggesting something enough times by the end you might think it’s true without actually providing things like evidence.  It says nothing and it rests entirely on opinion while being veiled as factual.  It talks about promoting based on potential not on results.  It ignores things like what potential means, if the employee would be great but hasn't proven himself then let them and you'll have those results, dumbass.  They get an attempt without having the promotion secured and if they are successful they earn their promotion.  If not then they’ll have learned a valuable lesson and hopefully it was handled with tact so they can comfortably stay at the company and maybe later they will be ready for that promotion.

The Dreaded Performance Appraisal
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140617171537-69019475-the-dreaded-performance-appraisal

"I’ve never held a management position, but a topic of interest to me is the employee appraisal system"

I've never written for LinkedIn before but a topic of interest is idiots who do.  You have no authority to speak on this.  Everything after that opening sentence is colored by this admission.  If I speak on great management techniques I can't start by saying I'm not a manager but I've been managed.  It is staggering stupid.

But let’s move away from making fun of people who post things on the internet for a moment (though that is one of the primary functions of the internet now).  I actually not long agao found an article that I appreciated greatly.  It was about the method in which you might fire someone.  I’ve been on both sides of this having fired someone and having been fired.  It is ugly exchange on either side and I think the article gave a great glimpse on the experience.  It should never be easy to fire someone.  There is some failure on the company, and the manager, for this to happen.  The company hired this person over others.  The manager has a responsibility to this person to train and better them.  When the time comes for someone to be fired it should be handled with decorum.  Often the person is no longer happy at the role and this firing can be like a weight lifted of their shoulders but still this person now no longer has gainful employment, no more money coming in.  Maybe it was their fault entirely and you tried desperately to put them on track.  But as human beings we owe another person some empathy.  When I had to fire someone I was sick the whole week.  I was ill leading up to it and sick the day after.  I made sure to do so in a manner where they didn’t feel like they were a failure.  I wanted them to be optimistic.  It’s a scary world when you suddenly find yourself without a job.

https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140708141009-6053047-should-firing-people-always-be-difficult

But here is what I would write if I were to post to LinkedIn.  I would talk about failure.  Everyone seems content to talk about success.  But it’s hard to copy success, it has to be, otherwise there wouldn’t be so many smart hard working people out there struggling to get by.  Failure, once known, is a lot easier to avoid.  Telling people about mistake they might not foresee is extremely helpful.  Much more helpful than articles guessing about what the next disruption model might be, or what some random VC thinks.  I’d talk about the bullshit I saw and endured but shouldn’t have.  I’d talk about those moments I can see with the extreme clarity of hindsight than set certain events in motion.    I’d talk about my experiences and I wouldn’t say write about ten ways to deal with a bad boss.  Those articles assume too much to be useful.  People’s work experience is too disparate.  I can’t think of any advice that could really apply to every work experience I’ve had.  This is another reason why I can’t stand people applying rigid structures to a company’s strategy.  While I am in agreement than a company or corporation shouldn’t be treated like an individual when it comes to law it is very much a living breathing thing.

If I did write articles in the manner of other writers here is what I would title them:

• How to deal with nepotism
• How to avoid killing your coworker
• The art of transferring
• How to deal with sabotage
• How to seek a new job quietly
• I may be saying this but what I really mean is this, and fuck you

Let me dole out some real advice like I promised at the beginning of the post.  Lots of people talk about your posture at the desk, and that’s great advice, but not too many people talk about talking you shoes off.  Yes, this might seem ewwy but trust me slipping off your shoes for a little bit in the cube can help your feet.
When you walk and don't look up you look vulnerable and weak - sadly office life can be like the jungle and some asshole with a douche complex will start picking on you.  Yes, the office is an extension of high school and yes walking in a certain way will cue up the bullies.

Front load your work.  I cannot overstate how helpful this is.  It has helped me avoid fire drills for years.  My busslhit detector goes crazy on Friday when some asshole casually wanders over to my desk at a few minutes before close to lay down a request.  Document your work and do it early.  You cannot stop others people being stupid but you can mitigate the effects of their stupidity.  Fire drills are caused by laziness, idiocy and bad process - two of these are preventable.  If you pursue work quickly and diligently so you have time when the inevitable compounding of stupidity happens you'll be happier.  Yes I will “happily” pull the information again in a totally unrelated time period to satisfy your mood swing.
Some situations are lose/lose.  There are bosses you can't please.  There are situations that are just unfair and you can't fix.  There are times when you are blamed for things you can't control.  This is bullshit but as a normal person who isn't the executive or the man/woman you are not even close to immune to bad or unfair situations.

Don't obsess over the unfair situations, or anything else for that matter.   Fix what you can and try to have a pleasant work life split.  This is easier said than done but at least try to actively pursue the goal.  It can be really easy to lose sight of this.

If you are leadership remember the business will be there tomorrow, even if you leave stupid people in charge they likely won't blow stuff up.  If you aren't leadership the numbers your crunching seem important but they probably aren't.  Fire drills seem really important in the moment but much less so a month later

And now, most importantly here is my list of office sins:

• Don't cook fish or stinky food in the kitchen
• Clean the fridge you jerk
• Respect the personal bubble.  Seriously you are so close you are almost kissing me
• Never send emails or follow up fifteen minutes before work close or later
• Understand when to reply all, and not abusing the email CC
• You work in a professional environment, certain shit doesn't fly.  Don't swear.  Don't make questionable jokes.
• Don't dress like a hobo
• Don't look at questionable content (and yes, I have direct second hand knowledge of this)
• Don't bring politics into the work place
• Block your damn social media profile.  People will Facebook stalk you, Facebook is built for stalking which is kind of creepy in it of itself.
• Be good to your colleagues.  Don't bad mouth them, maybe they are going through some nonsense, maybe they have roadblocks you don't
• Smile every once and a while, especially if you have resting bitch face.
• Don't exclude people.
• Check in on the new guy, we all know onboarding sucks.
• Don't be negative/toxic/complain too much.  And don't join in on it otherwise you'll be associated.

I think that’s most of it.  If you have any other office sins or actual useful advice that LinkedIn doesn’t I’d love to hear some.

Ben

How to Punish Big Business

Having worked in both small and large businesses I’ve gotten a sense of how ‘business as usual’ operates.  I don’t like it.  I’ve found that greed and aggression function as the baseline rather than the exception.  There are notable exceptions like Ben and Jerry’s whose corporate charter reads like a crunchy granola how to be a nice guy and help people booklet more than a system of operations.  This is why they are respected.  Also they load up the milk fat in their ice cream which is an excellent decision.  But for every Ben and Jerry’s there are five Enron’s.  The Enron scandal is over ten years old now.  Kenneth Lay never was sentenced (he died in 2006 before that finally happened) and the fervor and outcry has died.  For those that forgot Enron cooked the books, lied to investors and self inflated their own stocks.  They simply changed the numbers to make them look they way they wanted.  They created shell organizations for further number manipulation and generally did some very naughty things that a few execs got a lot of money and then the business imploded and thousands lost their jobs.  This is problematic.

I suggest a better solution.  It’s not the business that should be punished it’s the executives.  The trigger men and women.  Closing the business punishes the employees and clients.  The average workers only have guilt by association and lose their wellbeing through no fault of their own.  They don’t know their company is hurting people.  The company made oodles of money than won’t be recovered properly and a good chunk of that money lines the pockets of the top management.  Fine the company something reasonable so it can do more than simply limp on and be poached.  But reserve further fines and nasty sentences for the C class executives.  The assholes with the initials (COO, CEO, CFO, etc).  They are the ones who defraud, the ones who lie and then they find a new job after the business implodes.  After, of course, a nice soft landing with their golden parachute.  So stop the cycle.  Charge the executives with a felony, fine them for the millions they stole, and put them in jail.  The real jail where there are shivs and intimate moments in the shower, not the club penitentiary.  These are not stupid people.  If there is a real punishment and follow up these corporate atrocities will end.  Until people find a new way to subvert the law and make money in a different immoral manner.

If you don’t punish them here is a glimpse of what happens.  The company is sold.  The new owners gut the place with massive layoffs.  Those lucky enough to stay do the work of three people maybe more.  They work extended unfair hours simply to keep up.  If they complain too much they are fired and replaced.  You’re a number to them.  Not Mike who is expecting his first child, or Jen who is working her way through her Master’s, or Lisa who supports her two kids after her husband’s accident.  The new team leaders really don’t care about true output.  They care about metrics and numbers.  They are looking to push the needle.  The numbers only grow because costs have dropped catastrophically. Morale goes south but in this economy people are scared to jump ship.  The bright stars leave immediately as they are picked up quickly.  The office becomes a dark swirl of negativity.  A toxic cloud hangs over the place as the vultures perch on the windows.  What’s left is the scared married thirty and forty something’s who really need this job, who have two cars to pay, a kid in daycare, and a mortgage to pay off.  The stock goes up though but no one wants to work there.  Maybe the scared finally get moved from their inaction and overwork and find a few hours here and there to start moving their resume out there.  But the flood of workers and the name of this half dead beast of a company weigh down their cv’s like lead.  The new team announces a sale.  The stock has gone sky high now.  The investors make oodles.  But the company is a husk, a lie.  The new owners bought a fantasy.  It’s in shambles but it’s the others guys problem.  Business isn’t the law of the jungle.  In the jungle you die quickly and don’t suffer in business suffering is slow and drawn out.

That’s why big business can’t be allowed to self-monitor.  That’s why big business cannot be allowed to by elections, to send millions funneled through pundits and special interests to control legislation.  The thing that strikes me is that in college the popular course in business gloss over items like ethics, like morality.  They focus on lean six sigma, they focus on strategy, on metrics.  But they forget a few keys things like not being asshole and how to motivate people beside the threat of firing.  Here are a few tenets I find lacking from popular business ideals:

• Treating people well is encouragement
• Treating people well does not mean they will take advantage of you
• Being nice is not a weakness
• There a things that can’t be measured that are important
• Paying a person is an investment in them and not an expense
• HR is more than handling paperwork and hiring people it is meant for growing the employee and the company

But the easiest thing to do to punish big business is don’t give them money.  Be smart with your money.  Don’t like it when people skimp on wages and cheat by hiring part time and seasonal workers?  Don’t shop at Walmart.  Yes, it’s convenient as all hell but it’s not worth it.  Don’t like it when clothing stores think being fat is a crime?  Don’t shop at Abercrombie and Fitch.  Like gay people?  Don’t buy from Chick Fil A.  The list goes on.

Money is what will change business.  Use yours wisely.  Every dollar you move away from the pockets of the immoral and to their competition the bean counters will eventually take notice.  And these people are the business of making money.  If treating people well becomes the standard by which you’ll give them money they will suck up their principles plaster on a fake smile and hand out raises.  They’ll hate it but they hate losing their bonuses more.

Ben

There is No Friend Zone

I often hear, or read, about boys (I choose to use the word boys and not men for a specific reason) being stuck in the friend zone.  They lament that their perfect female friend doesn’t understand the depths of their love and that they should be together.  There are often two very specific problems with this kind complaint.
Firstly, you’re an idiot and that friend is allowed to make their own choice.  There is no destiny involved here, just your delusional sense of self-importance.  Secondly you probably didn’t voice your opinion and she isn’t a mind reader.  No one is, except for mind readers, if they happen to exist.

Being shy and nice doesn’t equate to being the one.  And being nice does not entitle you to the object of your fantasy.  And fantasy is a key word here.  Not that the woman is unattainable but that you heap all these praises on her raising her to demi god status.  She is no longer a human being but a thing, a fetish, totally unrealistic and far too perfect.  No person should have to live up to hype you created.

But, you ask, I do everything for her and she takes for granted why can’t she know that loving me is the right thing?  There are a few answers to this.  Only one of them is you being correct.  Another is that simply she is using you.  You have placed yourself into this master servant role willingly.  There is no contract that says hey hold my purse, go shopping with me, be a shoulder to cry on for like six months and then all of a sudden I’ll strip naked and fuck your brains out.  Nope, doesn’t happen.  You’re stuck there because you made that happen.  Accept being a friend-servant and never a boyfriend or move on.  More probably you never made a move and want to be near your beloved.  You never made it clear that your intentions were to wee her.  Maybe you write sappy poems or buy her presents but they are always calculated not to be too risky.  Asking a person out is risky.  It can be heart wrenching hearing a no.  It can be pure elation hearing a yes.  But if you always stay safe she won’t know your intentions.

If you keep hanging around you become a lead weight on her.  You might try to sabotage any perspective suitor who has the guts to ask.  You’re doing her no favors.  So get over yourself and ask.  Or, here’s a  novel idea, just be friends.  Being a friend isn’t a consolation prize.  And being a friend isn’t meant to be the path to romantic interlude.  This person owes you nothing.

Being a nice guy doesn’t mean being nice only for a prize (her love), it means being nice for the sake of being nice.  Being nice for a prize means you’re a dick.  You probably watched too many movies where the shy nerdy guy gets the girl at the end.  The problem with those movies is that it treats the woman as a prize.  By winning the game, or the election, or rallying the kids of the city they end up winning the heart of the girl.  That’s the job of the girl in these movies to reward the hero’s efforts.  That isn’t life.  Women aren’t a reward for a job well done.  There are two movie franchises I can think of where the hero didn’t get the girl but his friend did (Star Wars and Harry Potter) and I appreciated them all the more for that.

I know these things because I was idiot as a younger man.  That’s why you might have read some anger in these words.  They were not pointed at others as much as at a past self.  While I never placed myself in the friend zone exactly I never left my safe zone.  I was an admirer from afar.  It’s a weird, voyeuristic, hollow thing to be like that.  At one point in my life something just gave way.  I don’t remember the exact moment but I came to realize being so reserved and nervous about socializing did me no favors.  I liked people and I liked being around them.  I wanted to go to parties.  So I did.  I just stopped making excuses and stopped being safe.  It led to rejection, heart ache and sorrow but mostly it led to fun, to happiness and finally love.  I stopped admiring from afar and I never placed anyone so high up they were untouchable or sacrosanct.  We are all just imperfect people and I’m quite content with that.

So remember if you’re in the friend zone it’s because you made that choice not them.  Either ask them out, be a friend or walk away.  You’ll be happier in the end.

Ben

The Problem with Bullying

Like countless others I was a victim of bullying throughout most of my formative years.  Like many others I didn’t quite know why.  Like many others I often found myself asking, among other things, if my tormentors were right in their assertions.  They were not right.  It took a long time to figure that out.  It took a long time to figure out that certain things marked me as a target and that I was viewed by other kids as prey.  I hesitate to say that bullying is an intrinsic part of the human condition but it may very well be.  It tends to coincide with jockeying for popularity and merit.  It tends to teach aggression and the power of persuasion.  It tends to instruct how you can influence others and manage social spheres.

I was bullied because of things like my learning disabilities and my attention deficit disorder.  I was also bullied because of my reactions to said bullying and my posture.  My reactions were exactly what my tormentors wanted.  Usually shrinking away from the confrontation, my face contorted in a mesh of defeat, sorrow and confusion.  Other times I was loud and upset, shrieking out at their viciousness.  Those times it seemed were the only ones the teacher would take notice.  Because I caused the disruption I was in trouble.  They would twist their faces in horrible smiles happy that not only had they hurt me but I got in trouble for it.  Had I been older when this started happening and more experienced I would have known how to handle it.  There was also the problem with my posture.  It was slightly slumped.  It showed no confidence in my demeanor.  Nothing about my body portrayed don’t mess with me.  Again things I wish I knew.

But something happened around seventh grade that helped.  A girl was being uncharacteristically mean to me.  She never spoke a word to me before and had never displayed any emotion in my direction, either good or ill.  Al of a sudden in Spanish class she started making fun of me.  Before I noticed what I was doing I turned to her and simply devastated what she was saying with humor.  She was completely off guard, stunned to silence.  I turned away hiding a smirk and ignored here for the rest of class.  She was silent and her clique was silent as well.  I had found my savior.  Quips.  It was still a bit of a struggle for the rest of my school day but by the time senior year of high school rolled around I wasn’t a scared little kid anymore.  I had faced my bullies and I made it out with my dignity intact.  Sadly it isn’t that easy for so many.  Sadly what happened to me is not uncommon and worse still is comparably light.

I think part of bullying mentality is to sever empathy.  Bullying causes crying, distress, depression, and, worst of all, suicide.  The perpetrators see either no connection with the harm they are doing or devalue certain people’s emotion.  That or they perversely enjoy the pain they cause knowing the emotional toll they make.  It all depends on the bully’s emotional maturity.

But there is another big problem with bullying that exists outside the dynamic between bully and those bullied.  It’s the rest of the people surrounding it.  Those that do nothing about it, those that encourage the bullying and those who actually punish the victims (especially if they speak out).

The term has come to be called victim-blaming.  That’s where people who have suffered are further expelled from social interactions and made to suffer more because they brought uncomfortable accusations to light.

The story (linked below) is an example of how a family who was wronged by one person is shut out by the community, ostracized and demonized for besmirching the name of a popular person.  Being attacked isn’t enough harm but having to be harassed, and not simply you but your whole family, just because you seek justice afterwards.  Worse still the case was dropped.  The cliff notes version is a 13 year old girl, coerced (but not forced) into drinking was raped by a 17 year old boy at a party.  Then she was left outside in 30 degree weather just outside her house overnight.  There was good chance that this second part could have killed her.  The family was then made fun of, taunted, the mother lost her job and the charges against the boy (and the others involved) were dropped.  This was most likely due to the boy’s family having deep connections to the community.  What strikes me is the girl who was assaulted and left for dead is blamed.  The community reacted violently to the idea of prosecuting the young man.

http://www.kansascity.com/2013/10/12/4549775/nightmare-in-maryville-teens-sexual.html

Sadly this is only one of several instances.  There is alos the case of bullying continuing on after the teen committed suicide.

http://mashable.com/2013/10/15/bullying-teen-brags-facebook/

But it is not simply the community who is at fault for this continued cycle of victimization it is the authorities themselves.  Police, it seems, treat sexual assault victims with no tact and nothing but suspicion.  Turning an already harrowing experience into something much worse.  And we wonder why there are so many young suicides and unreported sexual assaults.  Society it seems delights in not only making it difficult to move on from the trauma but to forcibly remind the young victims of what happened daily.  But not simply remind to smear their faces in it smugly and blame them for what befell them.

http://sexologist.tumblr.com/post/69181120051/i-accompanied-someone-to-the-police-station-to-report-a

Why is this happening now more than ever?  I’m not sure it is happening more, I simply don’t have the stats, but I do know that with social media we can distance ourselves from the reaction and the fallout.  Regardless of your capability for empathy you can’t see someone crying on the other side of Facebook.  The anonymity takes out the emotional response.  Some kids need to see what harm they cause the torment they create.  Some of them realize it’s wrong to bully by seeing that and making that emotional connection.  Some simply delight in the pain in some perverse manner.  But the internet takes away that reaction and only leaves the sense of doing something funny.  I think about it thusly.  Kids aren’t emotional intelligent enough to understand their actions oftentimes.  That’s part of the reason the knock out game exists.  They don’t think to the part of sucker punching someone to knock them out might have deadly consequences – like passing out while upright and hitting their head causing brain trauma resulting in death.  To them it’s simply something that is fun and they didn’t mean anything by it.  They have already run away by the time the victim falls or recovers.  Our dismay media conglomerates have done nothing but advertise and sensationalize this trend making it spread all the much faster to impressionable kids.  But the problem often is bad kids are caused by bad parents.  You only need to pass one test to become a parent, or fail it depending on your outlook.

But social media bullying isn’t relegated to kids only.  Wither twitter and Facebook and all these venues popular posters are able to influence mass swathes of people.  In this case a man with a popular twitter decide to take to task a rude airplane passenger.  I in no way disagree that the lady was rude, selfish jerk but was this the best method in which to deliver a lesson.  In that I heartily disagree.  He stole her anonymity here and posted it all over the internet.  He posted her name, her picture, as well as her words but all from his point of view.  He was judge, jury and executioner.  Sadly news sources seemed to delight and cheer him on.  I was rather disgusted.

http://huff.to/1ccdtuS

But, fortunately, as I have found for every rotten awful person there tends to be someone wonderful who stands up and fights for others.  Sadly they are often beaten savagely as in this man’s case.  A hero this man was brutalized for standing up for a bullied teen.  Even more importantly he said he made the right choice and would do so again.

http://touch.sun-sentinel.com/#section/-1/article/p2p-78238298/

I don’t tend to think of society as broken I simply see it teetering on edge and it needs more positive examples like the man above to counteract all the atrocities committed by the bullies, those who sweep the uncomfortable stories under the rug and those who lash out at having their perfect world disrupted.  I can hope bullying will get better.  But what I will do is stand up to those who I see doing it.  Step in when I see a fight happening.  Be like that man and help my community.  That is what I can and will do.  I hope others will feel and do the same.

Ben

Attention Deficit Disorder

I am going to attempt to explain what it’s like to live with A.D.D., a much maligned and over hyped cognitive disorder.  I hope to give some insights so those without this disorder can have some appreciation for it.  Jumping topics slightly, something that I should hopefully cover later on as it would also give illumination… did you know there have been some really cool improvement on the light bulb lately.  Yeah, it seems boring but improving the light bulb can have a profound effect.  How many light bulbs in you place of living?  In you place of work?  In highways and other places.  If we cut down on power expenditure we improve things dramatically.  Back to my earlier point… a lot of people use ADD as an excuse.  I remember when I was in high school people would self diagnose themselves as ADD.  I would self diagnose them as jerks, idiots and lazy douche bags.  A bit harsh, true, but I’d watch a person complain about lack of focus when they don’t understand what that really means.  I do this as I constantly repeat in my mind that at in twenty minutes I have to excuse myself from class and walk to water fountain  to take an adderal pill.  Did you ever notice adderal starts with the letters add?  And why is it A.D.D.?  It isn’t adding anything.  You’re subtracting from your focus.  The weird thing about the problem is you need speed, or an upper rather, to calm you down.  Sort of.  You need more energy to maintain focus.  The hyperactivity part is not intrinsic to ADD.  Hyperactive is a bullshit term most of the time.  Its mainly applicable to boys.  It isn’t hyper (again extra) it’s the norm.  Young boys have a tremendous amount of energy and a biological need to expend it…  It’s like telling a scorpion not to sting.  You stupid frog in the parable take that… Anyway.  School isn’t designed for the needs of young boys.  Expectations to sit quietly in your seat and absorb knowledge are not built on the true nature of boys.  Of course it’s not a good idea to let the miscreants run rampant and swing from the rafters but an innovation might be needed.  So I would watch them, quelling my rage, as they joked about ADD.  They knew nothing of the sort they just wanted and excuse, a crutch, a reason to avoid shame.

There seems to be a large chunk of people being labeled ADD wrongly.  I think this is simply the culture enabling bad parenting.  Drug your children and avoid responsibility.  Many problems can simply be helped along by time and work.  There is no test to become a parent, well there is but that’s more confirmation than a judgment of metal and psychological ability.  I don’t condone anything so Draconian as restricting parenting to ‘deserving’ individuals I simply hope that more moms and dads make time to improve their children through good parenting, which is laborious and often thankless, over cheap and easy fixes.

I sit at the computer rubbing my eyes and trying to get through this report.  I’ve pulled the information from the core platform brought it over into excel for scrubbing.  Pivoted the data and charted it.  I bring it to another workbook where I change it again from presentation.  Then  suddenly, and unbidden, a thought enters my mind.  It take over my entire thought process and I cannot purge it.  No further action can be undertaken until I see this tangent to fruition.  What happens to those puppetry of the penis guys when they get older?  Does it have a measurable effect in older age.  Is it better or worse for health reasons.  How would you explain to your grandchild why you have to wear really baggy pants as an adult because you need more room due to helping along gravity.  Then I sit unsure if I should be dismayed or amused.  I go get coffee and shake the thought from my head.  I sit down moments later and return to my previous work.  Things like this happen at least three times a day.

Perhaps it is part of the of the creative process for some.  But I cannot have a linear thought for long period of time.  It’s like surfing the internet, or specifically wikipedia.  One thought begets another and the chain can be hard to trace back.  I can sit still now as an adult and I’ve trained myself to deal with things but I have difficulty not checking my phone.  I have to set constant reminders and schedules.  I keep them in my smart phone for easy access.  I’ve made a habit of checking it rather often.  It’s not that my memory is bad my focus just weakens from time to time unpredictably.  It’s like a shield  Some thoughts simply bounce right off.  Some are so strong them blow through.  Others simply slip in once the defense have gone down from the constant barraging attack.

The arch nemesis of anyone with ADD is that fucking windsock puppet thing in front of car dealerships.  I hate that god damn thing.  It jumps and move unpredictably.  It calls to my eyes.  It’s isn’t terribly interesting or entertaining.  But… I… can’t… look… away.  Fuck that thing.  I wish sometimes I could have a better filter for random thoughts.  I wish when one takes hold I could file it the back of my mind and say I’ll think about you later when I have  moment but I need to get this done.  It does not happen.  It is an electric current.  It is immediate and must be satisfied to the end.

This is problematic for many reasons.  It makes reading a nightmare.  I just counted ten books on my night side table.  Four of which I have started at one point.  If I don’t finish a book within ten days it grows discarded.  I might pick it up again and finish it might wait there forever a mark of shame.  It might wait patiently for its turn.  It might eventually get filled away on a bookshelf.

Video games are not as bad as they are intrinsically more engaging by nature.  You are interacting more directly and much less passively.  But still some game sit partially played, possible never to be finished.  My Netflix queue grows faster than shrinks.  My want to consume always higher than my time set aside.

I’ve worked hard to control and constrain my ADD.  I look for no pity.  But I do want people to stop self diagnosing or using drugs to treat this.  The erratic nature of the disorder is only a flaw depending on the lifestyle you choose.  Office cube rats is not the most conducive environment for such things but I manage just fine.

Perhaps this post gave an idea of what it’s like to think in a non-linear fashion.  And sadly not an intentional non-linear fashion more of a o disjointed fractured version of linear thought.  A topic is started and along the way focus drifts and the path back to the original topic is gone and you wonder how you got where you are now.  My method of combat has been time, patience and effort.  The three things that I’ve found cure most everything.  If you have cognitive disorders or learning disabilities (I’m also dyslexic) I feel for you.  I appreciate your struggle and I hope you find a way to improve yourself through it.  My problems have usually been my best teachers.  They have given valuable tools in learning how to function better.  The skills I developed through my efforts have been critical in getting me where I am. 

Ben

Never Run a Restaurant

There are things that everybody seems to think they know a whole lot about.    I wouldn’t walk up to a chemist and tell them they are using the incorrect solvents.  First off I have no idea if I am using the correct terminology, second I can’t determine exactly what is and isn’t a solvent, and thirdly it would be incredibly stupid.  I have some vague understanding of chemistry due to my incessant book reading and perusing of the internet, I did pass my high school chemistry lass but that’s about it.  But for some reason everyone thinks they know better when it comes to food.  To an extent I used to think the same thing which was about as stupid as the chemistry example.

One of the first nights the restaurant I was “managing” was open there was a particular incident that stuck in my mind over several others.  I put manage in quotations because it was really like trying to keep order in a tornado.  We were busy are there was a gentleman and his son waiting impatiently at the door.  The person who was supposed to be greeting our customers was off doing god know’s what.  I was running around fixing problems with point of sale system that no one actually understood how to use (only moderately disastrous).  Seeing them wait impatiently I smoothed back my hair, already made slick from exertion and nerves, and tried to bring myself into a semblance of put togetherness.  I informed them there would be a shirt wait.  The teenager, whom I will refer to Asshole junior for this example, jabbed his finger in the air and belched out something to the lines that a table was open.  He was correct but he lacked several points of understanding.  I will list those momentarily after I recount this story.  I politely insisted that I would do the best I could and have a table ready as soon as possible as we were a bit busy.  This was quite obvious to any observer as we had waitresses whirring about busily tending to their tables.  Not getting an answer and having precious few moments I departed.  The father stood there silently.  He loomed, like an attack dog at the ready of this vile little spawn.  I ran about looking for a server not underwater with work.  Then I looked for  one I could actually trust finding one who had a moment I conferred with here and yes she could take another table.  I didn’t run to the back because we were actually fully staffed in the kitchen, our expeditor had shown up on time and was completely sober.  The only issue was the front of the house was all fucked up.  After securing the table making sure the shiftless busser’s had actually done their job, instead of occupying themselves with he usually persiflage, I raced back to the entry and informed the pair of assholes that they could be seated.  I saw a mischievous grin from Asshole junior and I knew they would never step foot back into the restaurant.  He took such glee in saying that it was alright and that they were leaving I stopped listening to the words and only took bits of them.  He parroted some of my earlier words about being busy and they sounded perverse coming from his lips.

They left and I felt defeated, hollow, angry.  This would be a common theme. Sadly there is a great deal of  giant assholes who treat people who work in restaurant’s like shit.  I never could quite understood this fundamental flaw in so many people.  I remember in college an acquaintance would wait for the group to leave and swipe the cash tip off the table.  Had I known at the time I would have slapped the taste out of his mouth or at least dressed him down so thoroughly he might melt into a creature of pure shame and humiliation.  I recall being yelled at angrily by patrons who acted as if I had sodomized their parents for not having their food out in a timely manner.  One lady was crying.  I think it was more at her husband’s explosion anger and the prospect of actually having to live with him for the rest of her life.  Working in the restaurant had people treat me, an educated reasonable adult, like I was pond scum incapable of rubbing out a thought if it might save my life.  I was treated as villain and an idiot.  And this was after a refund.

Back to an earlier point that people often do not understand.  Just because there is an open table does not mean there is an open seat.  Here is a few reasons why.  There are only so many tables each person on wait can handle at once.  Really shitty one’s can only handle three at most.  And sometimes you just need warm bodies so you can’t have a full wait staff of competent people.  Good ones at least five tables.  If you have fifteen tables and three waitresses chances are you can’t have all the tables full at once.  Also there is the back of the house.  Did all your cooks come in today?  Did they just get paid the day before and they spent four fifths of it on coke and booze?  Did they sneak any alcohol in from the bartender?  Are they pissed off at the wait staff enough that they’ll mess with them by either fucking up the food and letting it get cold without notifying them?  Is the host actually prepared?  Is any of your wait staff in the breakdown lane?  Did we run out of something.  Is someone currently crying on staff?

This is just the beginning of the headache faced by someone trying to run a restaurant.  I only wish this stuff wasn’t true.  I normally don’t like to make assumptions on groups of people and label it as true but restaurant people are fucking broken.  Also, sadly, everyone is stealing.  Maybe it’s comping food or drinks when they shouldn’t.  Maybe it’s pouring too much booze into the drink instead of the standard one and half ounces.  Maybe it’s they was people manipulate the point of sales machine.  Or how they forget to tip out bussers or bartenders.  Or maybe it’s simply the cash drawer being light or stock disappearing.

Here is a quick list of why running a restaurant is a bad idea.  It will be missing quite a bit but I don’t feel like dredging up all my bad memories.

If you enjoy being able to trust people and do not like harboring intense paranoia you should be doing this.  I have never felt such rampant paranoia and mistrust ever.  I actually found out people were spying on me.  I was one of the managers.  And one of the owners was spying on me without consent from the other owner.  I was lied to constantly.  Like the time an employee told me about the concert they were going to.  Then the next morning when they had a shift they were mysteriously sick.  I outright confronted them and they denied being hung over.  And that was a person who I considered a friend.

If you are not used to get yelled at and treated like shit by customers turn around.  I had a particular customer who I know came in simple to be a pain in the ass make a complicated order he knew would be fucked up, eat half, complain and expect a comped check.  Obviously the wait staff hated him.  But instead of doing the responsible thing, like making sure this awful human being had what he wanted so he could leave they ended up forgetting about it until it was too late and fucked it up.  The only solution was make sure I or someone else went into the kitchen told the cooks what the special request were, double check the slip and double check with this jerk bag his order.  At this point it was ego stroke about being taken care of so a minor mishap no longer concerned him.  He was happy to be treated so well.  This was beyond the wait staffs comprehension.  I can’t blame them as swallowing our pride and smiling to such awful people is soul crushing but it is your job.

If you don’t like firing people go home, because you’ll need to, a lot.  I had to tell a busser with ablack eye and who had, seemingly, extra muscles that most humans weren’t afforded that he would no longer be working for us without explicitly stating that everyone besides his buddy the cook hated him and he sucked at life.  I was pissed because out head busser put up the schedule to early with some notable cuts.  This large, possible dangerous, human being was looking for questions.  I spun it so thoroughly at the end that he shook my hand and walked out happier than when he came in.  I did not enjoy it.  Not because I thought he might snap and attack me but because I had to tell him I was taking away his livelihood.  This is an ugly, ugly thing.  I had to fire more people and every time I felt ill even when they had been acting in a manner so brazenly stupid after having warnings about said behavior.

If you don’t like fire drills don’t do this.  And I mean constantly.  People will quit in the middle of shifts, call out at the last second without finding a replacement, get into arguments, and alert you to disasters only at the last second.  There is always an issue with ordering food.  It’s never enough, it’s not right, the supplier fucked up, the food went bad because it wasn’t labeled right and it was stored wrong.

If you like a normal schedule and need sleep.  Say goodbye to any weekend.  Say goodbye to sleeping or having a social life.  I had Monday and Tuesday off, kinda.  I got calls almost every day.  The first few weeks I worked all seven days.  I would show up at ten in the morning and leave around one thirty in the next morning.  It was ugly.  My schedule calmed down but I was never truly away.  I got calls on days off.  Emergencies in the middle of the night.  Shifts to be covered.  Fire to put out.  I lost perhaps around ten pounds the first month, maybe more.  I looked like and felt like shit.

If you expect people to be trainable this is not a good job.  This fucking hurts the most.  I know that there are stupid people.  I also know that there are stupid people who can still learn a whole lot things.  But the laziness, the arrogance, and outright intentional ignorance was mind blowing.  I would stand in front of the point of sale machine calmly speaking in plain English trying desperately not to be condescending, while desperately wanting to be, explaining how to push fucking buttons to make shit work so I don’t have to fire your ass.  They stared blankly like cows and shook their heads yes when I asked they understood.  Hours later I would get a frantic call.  I would calmly explain to the poor idiot who got caught in the whirlpool of stupid how to fix the issue for the wait staff I had explained the same problem to earlier.

If you don’t like, drama.  I don’t mean petty high school drama like “Susie’s totally likes Brad but her friend Donna does too, that bitch.”  I mean drugs, extra marital affairs, constant arguments, lying, stealing, violence and felonies.  The back of the house is a special place.  They have their own rules and behavior that isn’t acceptable anywhere else.  Pinching nipples, grab ass, constant harassment and name calling is the light stuff.  Physical violence can and will happen.  I almost knocked someone out and I am not at all quick to go to that route.  I know too many bars where people have been roofied.  I have been shocked to find out who was sleeping with who.  I was especially upset when it involved a customer.  I know too many sob stories that I wish I didn’t.

That’s just a snippet.  I haven’t even begun to talk about menu’s, inventory, sales people, advertizing, or proper process.  There is a reason why some many restaurants go out of business.  Everyone thinks they know best but they have no idea.  So if you have this urge to open up a new vegan place that cater to all the hipsters or a new bistro pub that will be just perfect in this area do yourself a favor and just burn a stack of money instead.  I was only in the business for a year and it threw my whole life into a tail spin.  I’m still a bit angry to this day.  I’ve let go an incredible amount of hate that I harbored.  I used to say if I only I knew what I knew now but I just don’t care anymore.  It isn’t worth it.  I have nothing I need to prove in this arena.

So I give this advice so that others may really give pause as to whether they really want to put their sanity and financial well being at risk.  I won’t say I told you so if you ignore me because I know all too well the sting.  I’ll just wish you well and hope you get lucky.

Ben