Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thanksgiving, So American it Hurts


Thanksgiving is a holiday that could only exist in America.  This is patently obvious because, well, it does only exist in the united states.  The concept and celebration of the holiday could only exist here.  The holiday is a remembrance of when the fresh of the boat Europeans were graciously helped by the native peoples who lived here already.  They feasted together in show of communal spirit and brotherhood.  Then the Europeans repaid this debt by stealing and decimated those that helped them.  They showed no mercy for the people who altruistically made sure they survived.  No good deed goes unpunished evidently.  Woo!  America!
Currently we celebrate the feasting meal held by the natives and the Europeans as a day to recognize that which we are thankful for as well as the unity of men and women.  Nothing wrong with that.  We do this in the most American way possible.  We indulge and overindulge like only we can.  We put as many unhealthy things in front of us and shove it down our faces numb to the aching hole we are filling with food.  We cram this down ignoring our aching, blocked  arteries and scream for more pecan rolls.  Then we have the brilliant idea with spread butter on the pecan rolls because fuck it, it’s the Holidays and we convince ourselves we’ll start that diet next week.  The diet doesn’t come and we cry into the pumpkin pie tomorrow.

Ok, forgive the bleakness.  Maybe that was an exaggeration.  Except for the butter on pecan rolls.  My brother totally did that.  I encouraged him.  Also pecan rolls are my one weakness.  They best my self-control.  Well, okay it’s one of my multitude of weaknesses.  I love pecan rolls but we can’t be seen together my waist gave me the ultimatum. My pants size won.  I wish you a joyous journey with another person.  Hopefully they appreciate your gooey bounty as much as I.  I’ll never forget you…

This thanksgiving there wasn’t enough table to fit the massive amounts of food heaped in front of us.  We had an appetizer round that took up some of the table but the main course took up so much room we had to constantly shuffle things around.  Also when there are small children around and you’re the adult the things being said are totally different.  For instance, “can you fit this all your mouth,” kinda different.  Being a reasonably intelligent man I said nothing and held back my smirk and chuckles.  This was no small task.  I giggle like an idiot every time I hear a fart, simulated or otherwise.  Yes, I am a grown man with a big boy job but fart noise are funny and don’t you dare take it away from me.

Another reason why Thanksgiving is super American is the whole family dynamic.  Adi and myself split thanksgivings.  One year with my family the other with hers.  Totally different atmospheres.    Both Jewish, well educated suburbanites with a gay male in the family but still very different.  It reminds me of the constant culture clash and turnover in this country.  The traditional versus the non-traditional.  The generation issues become readily apparent.  It terrifies me that my generation will be running things soon.  I don’t think any of us quite expect to be adult anytime soon.  But time is looming.  I’m very  much at the adult table talking about politics and jobs and hiding my own in the conversation.  I don’t feel like an interloper and want to wander back to video games and frivolity.  But I digress on that point.  This is a time for family but it points out fractured and unified families at the same time.  Many people I know are making multiple trips.  Dinner with mom then sandwiches with dad.  And that’s just one side of the family.  The effects of divorce really become apparent now.

I don’t know if Thanksgiving is as much of a drinking holiday as other but we’re in America and we are good at turning most holidays into excuses for drinking, eating and shopping.  Thanksgiving is very much about food and shopping.  I’ve been getting emails non-stop from various stores enticing me with early pre black friday deals, online specials, extended deals and all manner of consumer enticement.  I like buying stuff.  It’s part of being American.  We have a need to buy things we don’t need.  It’s part of the reason why I think we say we are thankful for certain things like family and friends but we’re really thankful for the 50 inch LCD hanging on the wall.  We worship at the altar of the shiny new iWhatever (patent pending).  I can only complain so much on this as my wife is out shopping while I mind dump these thoughts onto the page.  I know she enjoys this family bonding time so I encouraged her to buy herself something frivolous with my credit card.  I don’t entirely regret this decision.

So we have multiple version of consumption (food, alcohol, buying stuff) but we also have perhaps now the most American of sports playing prominently: football.  You could argue that baseball is more American but fuck you.  Baseball is all about patience and statistics.  Football is all trench warfare.  It’s more violent than baseball (‘Murika), it has dancing half naked women (‘MURIKA) and the biggest event for football, it’s raging culmination, is half about the stupid commercials selling you crap (MERIKAH!!!).

The only way thanksgiving could be any more American is if it stole the explosions from the fourth of July and got into a bar fight afterwards.  I would call it Thanksplosions.  That’s my word so don’t go using it without permission.

Ben

Monday, November 19, 2012

Greed isn't Good


One of the many problems from the 80’s is, sadly, that people did not really understand that Gordon Gecko was living breathing reflection of that is wrong with corporate greed.  Greed is good became a lifestyle.  People actually started acting like that fictional character more and that it acceptable.  It sometimes astounds me how farce and ridicule can be taken seriously.  There are people who think Colbert’s buffoonery is reality and that he isn’t mocking the far right.  This saddens me.  It’s not that I think people are growing less intelligent or are gradually becoming numb to subtlety and nuance because that isn’t true.  Perhaps the best literary example of satire – A modest Proposal – was not immediately regarding as harsh criticism.  That’s even more depressing to think that someone could believe eating poor children to stave off starvation and create population control within Ireland was anything but jaded humor pointed directly at the cold hearts of the England elite who oppressed the country and also those who didn’t have power but stood around and let the monstrosity of Irish oppression continue.

This greed is good mentality very much exist today.  America as a country, above all else, worships wealth.  Those who have money are deemed better than those who don’t regardless of merit or any other versions of worth.  I know I am not above criticism in this regard.  While I do enjoy money I know it isn’t as important as quite a few other things.  Of course, there is exceptions.  Money isn’t important after a certain point but before that point its real goddamn important.  Where I’m at money is occasionally tight but I’m comfortable.  I have a house, a car – albeit one held together by duct tape and prayer – and enough left over to be able to pursue a decent amount of leisure activity without worrying.  Make things tighter and put me behind the eight ball then money isn’t so superfluous or less important than being happy.  Yeah, happiness is important but eating is more important than that.

I am close enough to various lifestyle that I can understand them.  I think however there are those who are so removed from normal society, either morally or simply socially, that they have little to no understanding of how most people live.  This brings me to the rage and backlash hitting CEO’s recently.  I am rather amused that these wealthy individuals think their stances and claims are backed up by anything other than greed.  Yes, a CEO has a responsibility to his or her company in keeping it profitable.  This does not, however, mean it is acceptable behavior to throw a bitch fit when government regulations are set in place to protect lower wage workers from economic tyranny.

Many years before I was born it was normal to get  a job at a company and work there until retirement.  You’d start at the mail room and work your way up over the course of forty years to a respectable position and retire on a nice pension.  It was understood that with patience, hard work, luck and at least some quantity of brain power anyone could achieve this.  Well, any man that is.  Women’s roles have changed considerably and there are more women in places of power but the balance has yet to shift.  We still need a bit more of racial equality among the top echelons of business structure but with boy’s club politics and who you know being as important or more than important than what you know it’ll take awhile before that is righted as well.  But those times are gone.  In the seventies companies started firing people before pension was up so they wouldn’t have to pay it all out.  With companies growing disregard for the well being of employees growing it soon became apparent to employees they had options and the best method for promotion was getting a new job not fighting upstream like a salmon avoiding the bears.  I’ve changed companies multiple time.  Within the past eight or so years I’ve worked at five different companies.  I’m reasonably happy where I am and I constantly fight to keep recognition and move up.  I know if I didn’t I’d be overlooked and ignored.  I’d rather not jump ship just to get a higher payroll.

With Obama winning the election several CEO’s have outed themselves as nothing more than giant gaping assholes.  Look at Papa John’s CEO or Applebees’, or Aetna’s or even Hostess.  After the election some of these drains on society had the nerve to say that the additional cost for helping employees should immediate be baked into the product price.  Yeah, fuck that.  Maybe I don’t know slash something else in the budget.  I didn’t hear this level of bitching during the oil price hikes which surely affect every business.  Gas price increases which affect food delivery trucks and everything within the food business.  Suddenly food order for local restaurant are more expensive.  This is a legitimate reason to increase price that shouldn’t be met with scorn.  Also no one bitched publicly about it.  But paying more money to provide for your employees?  They act like this is raping the constitution.  Hint, it’s not.  America was founded on several principles none of which were hey let’s fuck over the poor.  We rebelled because of taxation without representation, among other things.  Yet these entitled individuals think it acceptable to rage out when we remind them hey pay you’re goddamn people and provide a real service and not price gouge.

Here’s a few articles to look at if you don’t mind your blood pressure raising a few points (I had more links but I can’t find all of them):

It just upsets me that these privileged few either just don’t care about the vast majority of people, which essentially makes them evil, or that they are so insulated that they really don’t understand what it’s like to be anything but wealthy, which essentially makes them pathetic.  I’m unsure where I heard this quote but it sums up these corporate abominations rather well, “Born with a silver foot in their mouth.”  I may be butchering the quote but the premise is solid.  There are people out there who have no concept of struggling for money.  No understanding of being nervous about paying the bills, about seeing halfway through the month you need to stop spending already but you’re not sure how you’ll eat the rest of the month.  I just hope the dam has broken and this kind of behavior is punished.  Thre has been quite a bit of internet rage with companies, or specifically elite individuals associated with companies making disparaging remarks and then two camps forming.  Looks at what happened with Chik-Fila.  Good food for a fast food places but owned by absolute fanatics who are filled with hate and vitriol.  Yet there are a ton of people working there who would be affected by the boycott.  A company is not a reflection of just that one person up at the top.  It’s a group.  While I always applaud voting with your wallet and supporting good business it isn’t always the best decision.

So what can be done besides public outcry and boycotts.  Well, you can support politicians who actually stand up to bullshit.  I’m super excited that Elizabeth Warren won the election in Massachusetts  She looks to be Ralph Nader without all the smugness or douchebaggery.  Or you could instead of boycotting try to support businesses that don’t act like dickheads.  I bet if Aetna saw people flocking away in droves they’d do something about it.  With the exception of cable companies it’s reasonably effective to do this tactic.  These people would rather pay out the money just to keep customers.  It’s not such a firm believe they’d torpedo the company.  But seriously, fuck that Papa John’s guy.  He can kiss my ass.  I can get better pizza at a local place.

Ben

Monday, November 12, 2012

The Writer's Journey


Every once and a while I see people take up the mantle of writer.  They proudly proclaim their intent to write a novel or blog or something along these lines and my first reaction is always the same.  Smugly I think, “what can they possibly write about that anyone would care for and how will they do this feat?” They can hardly speak without tripping on their own tongue, won’t presenting their words indelibly presented for all time simply shatter them when people inevitably speak ill of their choice.”  Then I tell myself not to be such an asshole.

I have this initial moment of schadenfreaude because I know what happens I know the path they’re taking before they do.  I’ve been writing off and on for fifteen years.  I have enough experience to know the stupid mistakes they’ll make.  Then I force myself to remember I know these mistakes because, well, I made them.  I remember writing without a plan, without an outline, naively thinking it’ll come together in the end.  It’ll be more fresh and exciting this way I would rationalize.  I’ll get bored if I know what happens.  Then I look back over the older work and wonder what was I thinking.  Where was the rhythm of the text?  Where was the pacing?  The tension, the depth, the mood?  But fucking up is part of the process.  You make mistakes and then eventually you stop making them.  It’s the same for anything else.  You can’t teach experience.

Writing is a bit more special than other hobbies, at least I think so.  It’s so private and insular you can hide behind certain veneers.  You can say, “It’s only for me. My writing doesn’t need to be judged.  I only write for myself.”  Yet you truly crave the acceptance and adulation of your peers.  Or you can hold onto something and never let eyes touch it.  It’s so fragile that it will crumble under the scrutiny.  You see this spark of an idea and you carefully bring it to full roar, taking time to feed it properly and nurture it along.  It is difficult to allow another person to see your work.  You know how it should be seen and interpreted and you know it’s good.  You feel it resonate deep within you.  But it isn’t ready yet, just a few more revisions.  It jars the ego to allow something that reflects some much of yourself to be inspected, to be  held up to others without your involvement.  Then there is the fervent need to express.  Bundled up ideas all swimming in your mind just waiting to be put to paper.  You know they are magical and wondrous.  They defy convention and surpass the stale media we navigate through.  Your writing is art, all the other nonsense we surround ourselves with is drek, unfit for consumption.  Only your words will save the literate from such mediocrity.  Then you land back to equilibrium.  Maybe if I simply stop taking myself so seriously and find that part of me that simply loves doing this and invest in that things will be good.

So for now I struggle like I always have but I’m older and smarter and I think things through a bit more.  Probably far too much.  I analyze too far.  I let ideas play out in my mind countless times, I cajole a slightly different energy or felling  from this piece.  I write, then  rewrite.  I stare at the cursor, ever blinking, taunting me to fill the blank space.

So I think back to those who wish to write I smile and say I hope they do well but I hope they don’t expect success overnight.  I hope they stick with it and they shrug off my initial lack of faith.  Sometimes I prefer being proven wrong.  But enough about them let’s talk about my journey and where I’m going.  This is my blog anyway, it’s only right.  Fuck them for stealing my spotlight.  I need some god damn ego stroking…  Anyway, I find it inappropriate to judge others without placing some of yourself out there as well.  It seems too easy and disingenuous.  If I need that nonsense I’ll turn on some politically charged television and see the talking heads try to outshout each other as if volume alone can convince another person their chosen stance is incorrect.

I write this blog because I like to do it.  There isn’t much more ulterior motive.  I had, at one point, envisioned creating much more content and trying to maintain a website with this and other items but I decided that my free time, the little of it I had, was more important.  I needed to be happy more than pursue this to the full extent.  Oftentimes I feel conflicted in this regard.  I have the itch come and go.  I feel the need to throw myself into a fit of writing, hunching over the keyboard, my fingers aching as they felt the resistance of the keys.  Fortunately my posture at least has improved.  My love of writing has not diminished but my need to create has waned slightly.  I will always write because it me brings me joy but I don’t feel I need this one great work in order to validate myself or my many hours writing.

Not long ago I had several small projects taking up room in my head.  This is not unusual for me as my mind tends to go divergent paths and takes turns and wind up at unexpected places.  Somewhere in my development this was nurtured.  Recently I had a screenplay I was flushing out, this blog, a web comic I wanted to start, and several other stories running through my mind.  I would navigate between them writing on the piece I felt I had the motivation or idea to pursue.  It was silly dividing my focus in so many directions.  And yet I still managed to focus more on coming up with premises and ideas than actually writing.  It’s so much easier to come up with the concept than to actually sit down and tough it out.  Also once the words are placed and story is done it’s out there ready for scrutiny.  It’s also over.  That intensity.  That frenetic energy that comes with the process fades.  Yes there is a level of satisfaction with the work being completed but then comes that feeling.  What’s next my mind asks daring me, tempting me.

For now I’ve settled on a simple path.  Continue writing my blog when I have something worth saying.  Not forcing myself to write twice a week or even once a week.  Simply write because that’s what I enjoy.  Then to focus on one piece besides this and pursue it.  Flush out the outline.  Then begin filling it in.  Find the rhythm and the pacing and improve the little bits that start to stick out.  Ask myself what is the core element and what are the themes that should continue to run through the work.  Then dive into the characters really feel like they are living breathing creatures who take action not simply because it will move plot along but because that’s what this person would do.  If you know the person you know what would happen when placed in the circumstance.

The story I’ve chosen and the one I plan on documenting is reasonably simple.  Most pieces that involve fantasy or science fiction or any otherworldly not immediately relatable setting have a window into the world.  This window is a character as out of place as we are.  We are meant to experience this world through them.  They are our substitute.  Look at Hellboy.  They had that boring federal agent character the introduce us to the universe those characters inhabited.  They dropped him in the second incarnation as he was no longer necessary, or interesting.  It’s always the new guy who gets shown around.  News flash, they are showing us around.

My take isn’t so far off.  I plan on displacing some people from our reality and placing them in another.  But they have no guides not person to walk them through.  They are as clueless as we would be.  They are reasonably normal people in a very abnormal circumstance. On top of this I want to play the four, there are four displaced people, against each other as they have very different experiences and reactions to this displacement.  Some enjoy their new home and some don’t.  But the thing that got me excited about the idea is the thought of getting back home and trying to explain their experiences.  How does a rational person who was thrown into another reality and then returned, how do they tell people what happened?  Do they simply tell them truth knowing they’ll be thought mentally ill.  I don’t really know the answer to this and it excites me as a writer.  And hey, I’m only writing for myself anyway, right?

Ben