List of Awesomeness: Part Three

I feel very confident in my ability to compile a list of things that are awesome.  I plan on making it my doctoral dissertation one day.  Let’s continue the list in no particular order or demarcation of importance.


1. Urinal separators

There is a strange rarely spoken etiquette for men’s restrooms.  One primary rule is its rude to look at another man’s junk.  It can be an awkward experience peeing next to someone, especially in a crowded rest room.  Most gentleman won’t be standing arms akimbo like Superman peeing away majestically.  It runs the gambit from uptight guys who stare straight ahead with a small bead of perspiration falling slowly down their face to others who simply couldn’t care where they are and offer loud exclamations, fart audibly, sigh, groan, or worst of all strike up conversation.  Urinal separators give us men much needed separation and space.

2. A Good Toast
I’ve been to several weddings and most of the speeches have been acceptable.  One was almost disastrous, raising audible moans and sharp exhales at the missteps taken.  There were hushed voices and people leaning in conspiratorially to remark, “did she really just say that?”  I spent weeks mulling over my best man speech.  I had been given a lot of bad advice, with wonderful intentions, and ignored it all.  My favorite bad advice was simply to wing it.  Winging it is never good.  I tense up if I don’t see a small piece of paper in the best man or maid of honors hand as they given the microphone.  While I felt I did admirably and had many congratulations the best toast I have heard was from my Uncle the night before my cousin’s, his son’s, wedding.  He spoke softly but was able to command the attention of quite a few loaded up patrons.  He had the exact amount of humor and emotion.  I was extremely honored to be there.  And that is what a toast is meant to be.  It should be the distillation of long amount of effort into a special moment to commemorate and remind us that life is precious and that these good moments will be remembered.  A toast is a life affirming moment where we revel in our good company and proclaim our luck at having such good friends and family.

3. Fruit snacks
I freaking love fruit snacks.  There is something so purely wonderful in this small globule of processed sugar.  It is also my go to I feel like crap snack.  When I’ve had stomach issues (ranging from explosively unpleasant to I’m going to lie down when I play video games) this is what I eat.

4. Yoga Pants
The yoga pant is the push up bra for the behind.  It also has that spandex clingy deal going on which is vastly appreciated by us men.  All things being equal the yoga pant is non-discriminating so all manner of people can wear it, even those who you want to burn your eyes out after seeing them in it.  But that’s not the fault of yoga pants that is the fault of bad people.  Also, apparently they are rather comfy.

5. Jadav Payeng: the guy who planted a forest
As a teenager Jadav say took pity on some snakes, one of Nature’s terror factories, that happened to die in the sun displaced in an inhospitable land.  He started, by himself, to turn a barren sandbar into a thriving ecosystem.  He carefully seeded the burgeoning forest and nurtured balance with actions like physically bringing in ants to help the nascent ecosystem.  Now home to numerous plants and endangered animal species he has created, single handedly, a 1,360-acre forest over the past 30 years.  For scale Central Park is 778 acres (also it has a 37.5 million annual budget and I’m guessing an employee base of more than one).

http://www.younews.in/news/man-plants-a-forest-all-by-himself/

6. Stand up comedy
Laughter is a good thing.  Heck its health benefits are even noted.  Stand up comedy is just some possibly deranged, most often maladjusted, person standing in front of a audience trying to make people happy.  It’s a horrifying trade in a sense.  Up alone in front of rows of eyes being judged by something as hard to measure as taste.  Good comedy is a reflection of ills in society.  Good comedy makes us look closer at ourselves and think deeply about our lives.  Comedy is harder than dying.

7. NASA
Besides flinging people in space, which was done with items like protractors and slide rules and is perhaps one of the coolest things ever, NASA has brought humanity numerous scientific discoveries that have benefitted our way of life.  Anything satellite technology would not be in the same place it is now without NASA.  But less obvious without NASA we wouldn’t have or wouldn’t be as advanced in our knowledge of; memory foam; hearing aids; insulin pumps; water filters; invisible braces; invisible braces; scratch resistant lenses; shoe insoles; ear thermometers (usually kinda helpful with those small screeching baby things); shoe insoles (borrowing from space boots springy designs); safety grooving (those little channels dug into runways and highways); improved water filters; computer microchips (first designed for Apollo’s guidance); insulation that funky stuff that looks a wee bit like cotton candy (you’d think they choose a color that doesn’t evoke food when you know a child at one point would be exposed to it by itself at one point); and joysticks (also Apollo).  More impressive are items like Lifeshears.  Mini portable high tech jaws of life that slice through impairments in a fraction of the time and were instrumental in saving lives in both the Oklahoma City bombings (1995) and the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Centers (2001).  But forget just saving our lives in times of disaster NASA also helps the environment with solutions that can neutralize toxic chemicals in the groudnwater (maybe we could use this in combination with all the problems with fraking)

http://www.howstuffworks.com/innovation/inventions/top-5-nasa-inventions.htm
http://www.discovery.com/tv-shows/curiosity/topics/ten-nasa-inventions.htm
http://www.design-laorosa.com/2012/11/26-nasa-inventions-that-we-take-for.html
http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/curiosity/topics/ten-nasa-inventions.htm

8. Wikipedia
A free online lookup for virtually everything that is far more informative than anything on the news.  It’s free you guys.  Like in the same PBS manner of hey can you spare a few coins so we don’t shut down due to expense costs.  Seriously, have you spent time on the site?  It’s like a random interesting fact generator/slash time suck.

9. Mr. Rogers
If you don’t like Mr. Rogers there is something truly, deeply, irrevocably wrong with you.  Perhaps the nicest person to grace the planet during my lifetime.  Every one of his cardigans was hand knit by his mother.  He got on televisions because he disliked TV (that’s changing the system from within).  He really made people feel special because he really was curious about people.  The story about his limo driver floating around is one of the more touching.  He invited his limo driver in from the cold during a long meeting and then stopped by his house and hosted an impromptu party and played the piano.  He kept in touch with the driver.

http://mentalfloss.com/article/16416/15-reasons-mister-rogers-was-best-neighbor-ever
http://www.lovelyish.com/2013/05/08/4-more-reasons-to-love-mr-rogers-as-if-you-needed-another/

10. Ferrets
They are god damn cute and they helped Ahnold in Kindergarten Cop.  Also the female ferret will die if it doesn’t have sex once a year.  Actually that’s kind of a bummer ignore that and focus on ahnold.  He never bites, unless you’re a bad guy then he bites which is rather helpful.  I want one desperately but I can’t because Mac will totally try to eat the ferret.  And I don’t like the idea of a ferret ball cage thing.

http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/09/female-ferrets-will-die-if-they-dont-mate/

Ben